ask kitty
Vol 5
Baden S., Los Angeles
If you could talk to your teenage self, what advice would you give her?
Derek S., Los Angeles
Do you ever struggle with comparing yourself to others. And if so how do you deal with those feelings?
Dear Baden and Derek,
If I could talk to my teenage self I would tell her to listen. Listen to that inner voice. The voice that dreamt of Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Broadway and city lights - a far cry from the pocket sized town I grew up in - and honor that voice. The voice is subtle and rich. It is an anchor for me as I write this. I would tell her not to underestimate the intuition that is guiding her, indulge it, feed it and follow it however narrow the path may be. I’ve always struggled with self-doubt (see part 2) so I would also urge her to be brave. Bravery-Doubt is my very personal Yin-Yang.
Do I ever struggle with comparing myself to others. DO I? YES! The quick response, courtesy of my dear friend Jessica Kubzansky, is “compare and despair.” Words to live by, especially if you are sensitive (check), competitive (check), filled with self-doubt (check). (Does that last period go before the ) or after the )?)? It’s beautiful and painful to move through your life and see folks you have nurtured surpass you. It really is beautiful and it really is painful. If I begin to compare my “achievements” or “talent” to others - especially my others - I will go dark. That brings me back to the inner voice thing and the expression of that inner voice. So unique, so incomparable - for each of us - that it’s delightful. Who can create something like I can, no one. Who can dance like you can, no one. And that’s it - we are each beyond compare.
Stay Well,
Kitty