ask kitty answers insta Vol 16

ask kitty 

Vol 16

Sooooo many wonderful questions via Insta…here are answers to a few. MORE SOON. So grateful for community right now! Thank you for engaging with me.

xxxxx

Kitty

______________________

Kourtnie, Los Angeles

“When do you feel most vulnerable?”

Sitting with an audience watching my own work unfold live onstage.

Sara, Los Angeles

“Any rituals before a performance?”

I’m actually quite superstitious so I have a few strange rituals! If something goes well I will wear the same shoes to the following performances. So weird! I walk on exactly the same path in and out of the venue. I always try to do a little huddle with the dancers - hands in the middle - with my hand on top.

“How do you keep inspired during all these fits and starts”

Staying inspired during all of these fits and starts has been interesting. I’ve made a conscious decision to ride the fits and starts instead of trying to buck them. If I have an opportunity to create I savor it and challenge myself to work differently. I’m exploring what happens if I allow myself to create more quickly and with less self-criticism. I’m trying to get out of my own way - or shall I say - out of creativity’s way. MOST importantly - the dancers - their resilience and generosity of spirit has truly kept me inspired and hopeful. 

Andre, Forth Worth TX

“What is it like to be female choreographer in the dance industry”

I think because of my background in modern/contemporary dance I have always seen women as leaders in the field, literally. Women planted the seeds and tended the garden that I play in today. Many of them; Isadora Duncan, Ruth St. Denis, Martha Graham and Twyla Tharp were initially based in Southern California. I had no trouble imagining myself as a choreographer and director of a company with these women imprinted in my mind. That is why it’s so critical to me that everyone is represented in media and the arts. Each of us - regardless of gender, race or sexual preference - deserves to see that the life they dream of is possible. The commercial side is a bit trickier. It feels like a balancing act - maintaining your dignity and power while serving a typically male hierarchy. I also feel a tremendous responsibility to protect dancers who are the most vulnerable on set.

Sasha, Los Angeles

“What’s your favorite way to warm up?”

Oooohhhh, I cannot warm up alone. I really need company!

Patricia Zhou...alive with possibility!

ask kitty

Vol 15

Patricia Zhou…humble, beautiful and open to the possibilities life has to offer.

Take a peek into the understated wisdom of one of the most beautiful dancers I’ve met in quite a long time. Patricia’s insights into shifting from ballet company work to free lance at the onset of the pandemic give me hope. She is resilient, present and has a sly sense of humor!

Jasmine...the magnetic

ask kitty

Vol 14

Hey there!

I’m switching things up again for this edition of ask kitty!

I interviewed @jasminealbuquerque - choreographer, dancer, teacher and star for Vol 14. Curious, as always, I wanted to learn more about Jasmine's process and experience as a creator and performer.

I think you’ll be inspired as I am by this peek into Jasmine’s perspective on fear, beauty and the creative process. THANK YOU for supporting ask kitty!

shine on

ask kitty

Vol 13

Justin P, Los Angeles, CA

What is your biggest dream/desire?

Dear Justin,

Thank you for your heartfelt question. I must apologize for the long overdue response. It’s been a minute, an hour, a month, a year. Quite the collective journey!

I have definitely slipped into the “Abyss.” Am I am the only one?

Are we ready for this transformational moment? Are we poised for the possibilities this new era offers? My biggest desire is to find my true place in our communal journey. I am no longer the heroine, I am the goddess/wise woman. It’s time for me to step up and shine on.

I have been avoiding dreaming and desiring for fear that this past year and a bit has made expansion impossible. I hate this mindset. I really find it despicable yet here I am mired in it, trying to extract my self. OK - let the extraction begin! I dream of growing UP.  I dream of using more of my mind, more of my internal power. This seems simplistic - simple is hard. I dream of doing newer, bigger things. Of shining a brighter light on the incredible humans I find myself surrounded by. Of expanding, not collapsing. Of creating something on a scale that I never saw coming.  I desire clarity, camaraderie and calm. I desire opportunity for all. I desire true collaboration.

I’m here for you, Justin. I’m here for myself. Let’s dream a beautiful collective dream.

Stay well,

Kitty 

ask kitty asks ray

ask kitty

Vol 12

Greer W., Vancouver, Canada

What are your glows and grows?

Chris A., Los Angeles

What is your dance superpower?

Lee., Los Angeles

What is a subject you want to create on, but have not yet had the opportunity to or felt ready to do?

JM R.,

As an artist, what is your take on intent when it comes to creating work? How important is it for you to create work that has the potential to shift society in a positive direction?

Dear Greer, Chris, Lee and JM,

I’m grateful for these questions and the wonderful opportunity that they provided me to expand ask kitty.

For this Vol, I decided to turn the tables a bit and ask one of my favorite collaborators Raymond Ejiofor these questions. We played, challenged each other and dug deep into why we create and what we would like to grow into.

Stay well,

Kitty

CLICK IMAGE FOR VIDEO of interview!

Journeys

ask kitty

Vol 11

Alexandra F, Fort Worth,TX

How did a difficult moment in life bring about art later on? How can artists tap into their own healing Journeys?

Dear Alexandra,

A well timed question indeed. In one of my recent posts, I mentioned feeling exposed. Revisiting some of my earlier works coated me in a nervous shame. My God! What was I thinking?! It felt as if I had spoken my inner most thoughts and fears out-loud to a group of strangers. Thoughts and fears that I should be denying or at least hiding. It was as if the art was fueled ONLY by the difficult moments in my life.  At the time I had no awareness of this exposure or I would have stopped making work. Fortunately, I was surrounded by an amazing collective who spoke to this deep part of me, added their own difficulties and together we blended them into a beneficial exorcism of our collective traumas. 

I think the process of making art is in and of itself a healing journey. Tapping into the personal unconscious that creativity springs from is cleansing. It connects us so elegantly to the greater collective unconscious. It frees us from the trauma, frees us from the past and propels us forward to our futures. 

Collective unconscious, term introduced by psychiatrist Carl Jung to represent a form of the unconscious (that part of the mind containing memories and impulses of which the individual is not aware) common to mankind as a whole and originating in the inherited structure of the brain. Encyclopaedia Britannica

Stay well,

Kitty 

glows & grows

ask kitty

Vol 10

Greer W, Vancouver, Canada

What are your glows?... what are your grows?

Dear Greer,

I love your stylish question. 

We are here, together at ‘ask kitty’ Vol 10 - I’m glowing about that! 

My biggest glow, in the simplest of terms, is my ability to make things up. From an early age I had what the adults around me would politely call ‘an over-active imagination.’ I would see things that were not quite there. I would organize things that were there into something far more magical and powerful. A cluster of branches outside of my bedroom window became a witch perched in the tree watching my every move.  The clouds and shadows hovering over the ocean at dusk were formulating into some kind of briny monster that would engulf me if I turned my back. A bit over-imaginative for sure! I was lucky enough to find a world to live in that not only valued my ability to visualize but taught me how to channel it in productive rather than destructive ways. I learned to harness this kind of thinking and attach it to music and story. This ‘magical thinking’ made the original works created for Hysterica Dance Co. possible. My choreography for Hysterica remains my biggest glow.

My grows; a few things I would like to improve/alter moving forward. Hmmmmm, this list could be quite long!  I would like to have more self confidence. I would like to be more aggressive. I REALLY should cut down on the multi-tasking. I would like to diversify. Fundamentally I would like to do exactly what you are asking - grow. I’m not sure what that looks like. I’m fascinated by what I can capture with a camera and that unlike ephemeral live performance it stays captured. That durability is reassuring in these times, it’s like a tiny piece of permanent magic.

Stay well,

Kitty 

exposed

ask kitty

ask kitty

Vol 9

The dialogue continues in a new framework this week. Folks have been asking for a structured task - a combination of steps to learn and share. As an extension of ‘ask kitty’ and in the spirit of community here is a mini combo.

Your legs will be higher- your turns will be better - I’m fully exposed as being rusty, stiff, vain, self conscious and hungry to move.

Please learn and share with me!
Can’t wait to see and share your interpretations!
.
Acoustica
Prep Gawriek 3B

Stay Well,

kitty

the combo

the response! a gift to have these beauties gathered safely together - and sharing the combo with me!!!

power

ask kitty

Vol 8

Minami M., Osaka, Japan

What does dancing mean to you?

Dear Minami,

Thank you for this precise question. To me, dancing means power. The internal power that comes from self-reflection and subsequent articulation. This stealth power is the key to my survival. NO ONE can take it from me or shut it down. It is hovering safely, quietly within me ready to be accessed. 

A few days ago I was looking at videos of rehearsals for Hysterica Dance Co. As I watched I experienced something very unexpected - I felt at peace. These rehearsals were challenging, we worked hard with no $ and little expectations, and yet looking at them I was overcome by a feeling of contentment. We were true to ourselves and each other. We gained power in the process by respecting each ‘self’ and executing the articulation of that self without judgement. 

For me, dancing also means community. I’m not interested in dancing alone or making dance for myself. The meaning and JOY for me is in the exchange. 

Stay well,

Kitty 

dialectic

Marlon Pelayo

Derek Schiesel

ask kitty

Vol 7

Lesley B., Pasadena, CA

What do you miss most about being a choreographer and not being able to be hands on during COVID?

Dear Lesley,

What I miss most is the unique way that dancers communicate with one another.  I thought the longing for this might dissipate over time but it’s only growing and growing and growing within me. If I happen to see a dancer in the new ‘real’ world it takes all of my strength not to run and throw myself onto them. I want to feel them and ‘speak’ to them through my body, feel their heart beating along with my own. This sounds like madness - I know - but we are tactile folks. 

I’m finding it very hard to write about the other way we communicate. An exchange of information that is meditative, dialectic. I miss ‘speaking’ to dancers - again struggling to use words to describe this - and having their response come back to me clearly without a single word having been uttered. This conversation is silent - remote and within at the same time. Exchanging movement is delicious and grounds me. Watching the person inhabit that movement with their thoughts and their spirit, sending it back to me permeated with their intent, is the ultimate fulfillment. I miss that. 

My current experiment is sending out a prompt, a piece of music, and receiving and sharing improvisational movement in exhange. I’ll let Marlon Pelayo, Derek Schiesel and Russell Ridgeway speak to us all.

Dialectic

a

: any systematic reasoning, exposition or argument that juxtaposes opposed or contradictory ideas and usually seeks to resolve their conflict : a method of examining and discussing opposing ideas in order to find the truth

b

: an intellectual exchange of ideas

Merriam-Webster

Stay Well,

Kitty

art in plague times

ask kitty

Vol 6

Timea P., Los Angeles

Where do you think our industry goes? What are the biggest changes that we will face? Performing arts in general.

Matthew L., Birmingham, UK

Do you think artists must suffer?

Dear Timea and Matthew,

Thank you! I share your questions and concerns.

I’m scared yet optimistic. I’m reading about other plague times (Shakespeare lived through a few) and learning that as frightening as these times may be they will no doubt seed some incredible creativity. Things will be different - they have already changed so significantly - but no one is better at ‘pivoting’ than artists. It may be a few before I will cram myself into the elevator with 15 opera singers to get out of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion a few minutes early. It may be a few before I can lose myself in a room full of sweaty humans sharing time and space. It may be a few - but we will get there.

I think folks will need us to grapple with the story of this plague and the emotional toll of living through it and grieving those who did not. They will need us to shape it into something that provides empathy, perspective and communal healing. So, to answer your question Matthew, yes. We must suffer along with the rest - we can’t fly high, numb ourselves or avoid the truth. We must take it in, manipulate it and offer it up in a way that we can all heal from it. 

We have each other, for that I am supremely grateful. We have the fortitude to steadily work  through the most challenging situations (anyone who has taken a dance class knows this is true!) What we fear now will fuel us later.

Stay Well,

Kitty

bravery/doubt yin/yang

ask kitty

Vol 5

Baden S., Los Angeles

If you could talk to your teenage self, what advice would you give her?

Derek S., Los Angeles

Do you ever struggle with comparing yourself to others. And if so how do you deal with those feelings?

Dear Baden and Derek,

If I could talk to my teenage self I would tell her to listen. Listen to that inner voice. The voice that dreamt of Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Broadway and city lights - a far cry from the pocket sized town I grew up in - and honor that voice. The voice is subtle and rich. It is an anchor for me as I write this. I would tell her not to underestimate the intuition that is guiding her, indulge it, feed it and follow it however narrow the path may be. I’ve always struggled with self-doubt (see part 2) so I would also urge her to be brave. Bravery-Doubt is my very personal Yin-Yang.

Do I ever struggle with comparing myself to others. DO I? YES! The quick response, courtesy of my dear friend Jessica Kubzansky, is “compare and despair.” Words to live by, especially if you are sensitive (check), competitive (check), filled with self-doubt (check). (Does that last period go before the ) or after the )?)? It’s beautiful and painful to move through your life and see folks you have nurtured surpass you. It really is beautiful and it really is painful. If I begin to compare my “achievements” or “talent” to others - especially my others - I will go dark. That brings me back to the inner voice thing and the expression of that inner voice. So unique, so incomparable - for each of us - that it’s delightful. Who can create something like I can, no one. Who can dance like you can, no one. And that’s it - we are each beyond compare. 

Stay Well,

Kitty

darkness and magic

ask kitty

Vol 4

Blake M., Medellín, Colombia

Do you ever feel lost? Making a living from creating is often inexorably daunting... What are some of the things you do to get out of the feeling of being stagnate/uninspired?

Jasmine A., San Pedro, CA

how do you make magic in times of darkness?

Dear Blake and Jasmine,

Thank you for the beautiful questions. For me they are bound together. Our shared experience these past 9 months has left me feeling lost - like I’m floating in a void. Occasionally I will touch down in a moment of clarity, grasp a sliver of insight, and then I‘m off again.

I don’t often feel stagnant or uninspired - for that I am grateful. However I have been overwhelmed by fear, the darkness crashing down on me like a wave. In those moments I feel like a tiny child in a vast, dark room. I try to tiptoe myself out of that terrifying room the same way I did when I was a tiny child - through my imagination. I fantasize, I imagine beauty, grace and light. I grasp on to that tendril of light and pull myself up.

This conversation is helping - the sense that I’m not alone in sending out these tendrils. We are making a net of light that will hold us up in these dim days.

Stay well,

Kitty

Music or Movement first?

ask kitty

Vol 3

Adam P., Los Angeles

“When first creating a piece, what is your impetus, movement or music?”

Paulo A., Toronto

“Being a fan of your work and being blessed to dance for Hysterica for many years, what comes first when you make dances, the music or the movement?”

Dear Adam and Paulo,

Music. People. Music.

I’m sorry that I’ve inserted humans into your fine questions but without them populating my imagination, any impetus is fruitless.

I may start with an idea or concept but it’s ALWAYS the music (and the specific people that I see inhabiting it) that guide me into the work.

Two pieces of music offered me equally profound inspiration. They may seem worlds apart but Dolly Parton’s Little Sparrow inspired me as much as Mahler’s Symphony No.5 in C-Sharp Minor IV. Adagietto. The masterful construction of each taught me to analyze the overall structure of my choreography, provoked me to strip away any excess and tormented me to finish what I had started. The Mahler was particularly tormenting - relentlessly returning to it’s theme with such clarity and beauty that I could not sully it with anything other than the truth.

Stay Well,

Kitty

Link to Little Sparrow Dancers - Tara Avise, Justine Clark, Nina McNeely

Link to Mahler. Dancers - Tara Nicole Hughes, Tara Brook, Dominic Chaiduang, Nina McNeely, Lisa K. Lock

Do you need to worry about leaving behind a legacy?

ask kitty

Vol 2

Dear Adam,

This question has been on my mind as well. The funny thing is that whether we worry about it or not, we do leave behind a legacy. Legacy, as defined by Cambridge Dictionary, is “something that is a result of events in the past.” Those folks in the future will be responding to our actions in the now.

The work we create now, the community we build, the actions we take will without a doubt impact future generations of dancers (and humans!) 

I feel my own legacy most profoundly in the lives of the incredible people who populated my company, Hysterica Dance Co. Glimmers of the lasting result (if there is one) are present in the very personal art we generated together. More deeply, it is present in the space we carefully carved out for the genuine acceptance of our selves exactly as we were.

The tiny trickle of freedom that we gifted each other has grown more powerful over time.  A stream, a torrent and now a flood of self acceptance that nourishes those far beyond a small, DIY dance company in LA.

The word legacy stems from the Medieval Latin - legates - person delegated. 

I now delegate you!

Stay well,

Kitty

are you happy?

Above: Kitty being fancy in West Virginia “I wonder what the plain girls are doing today?”

ask kitty

Vol 1

Hi Michelle,

This is a big question…I appreciate you asking. For me ‘being happy’ is a functional state. Moving makes me “happy.” Collaboration makes me “happy.” Each of these activities (in current conditions) are deeply restricted. I miss being in a room filled with curious, creative movers AND I’m learning to find happiness in the small shifts of my creative compass. Expressing my impulse to tell stories visually keeps me balanced so i’m channeling that into documenting dance and dance makers. I worry that I have NO IDEA what I am doing - that somehow I will get it wrong - I’ve been there before and have learned that sometimes the leap of faith it takes to try something new makes me happy.

Stay well,

Kitty

what is ask kitty?

welcome.

what is ask kitty?

ask kitty is an experiment. an experiment in staying connected. ask me a question. i’ll post an answer each week on this blog. please subscribe and share with your friends.